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  Presentation on the book "Born to Win" - Muriel James & Dorothy Jongeward the presentation starts with the concepts of winner & losers, explain various concepts of TA. The focus is to make an individual "A Winner"
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  • 1. BORN TO WIN - Transactional Analysis With Gestalt Experiments Archana PJM,WABCO
  • 2. About Authors Muriel James James is a psychotherapist, with a doctorate from the University of California, Berkeley, where she taught for many years on the extension faculty staff. While in California she became a student of Eric Berne, founder of transactional analysis. She is also a licensed marriage and family counselor, a speaker and trainer in transactional analysis, and is a past president of the Transactional Analysis Association. Among her seventeen books are Its Never Too Late To Be Happy: The Psychology of Self-Parenting, Hearts on Fire: Romance and Achievement in the Lives of Great Women, and The OK Boss. Dorothy Jongeward Jongeward, who died in 2012 aged 86, was a teacher, marriage and family counsellor, and management adviser specializing in organizational behavior. She worked at the University of California, Berkeley, and was active in transactional analysis circles. Other books include Everybody Wins: Transactional Analysis Applied to Organizations, and with Muriel James Winning Ways in Health Care and Winning With People: Group Exercises in Transactional Analysis.
  • 3. Subjects of Interest  Winner and Losers  Strokes  Scripts  Roles in Life Dramas  Stamps  Overview of TA  Parent Ego state  Adult Ego state  Child Ego state  Ego State Boundaries – Lax, Rigid, Contamination, Exclusion and Boundary lesions  Strengthening your Adult ego
  • 4. Winner Who is a Winner ?  Not just an Achiever  An “Authentic” Person, who experiences self-reality by knowing, being and becoming a credible, responsive person.  They discard of unrealistic self-images of Superiority or Inferiority. A Winner works to make the world a better place. If You’re your “Authentic self”, You have No Competition
  • 5. Losers Who is a Loser ?  A person who avoids taking responsibility for his own life  A Loser seldom lives in the present, Instead he focuses on past memories or future expectations  Unable to bring the full potential of their senses to the immediate situation. There ability to deal effectively with the real world is hampered Losers do not lack knowledge or Strength, they Lack the will
  • 6. Strokes A stroke is defined as a unit of recognition. (Berne 1971) “A stroke is a unit of attention which provides stimulation to an individual”. (Woollams and Brown: Transactional Analysis 1978)
  • 7. Need for Stroke Stimulus Hunger Recognition Hunger People ‘hunger’ for recognition and touch
  • 8. Types of Stroke Conditional Unconditional Positive – “You’ve made a fantastic presentation!” Negative – “That was the worst report I ever read.” Positive – “You’re a nice guy!” Negative – “I’ve never seen anyone as arrogant as you.” Seek out ways to give more unconditional positive responses. Listen carefully to positive strokes from others.
  • 9. Strokes “Warm fuzzies” “Cold pricklies” Positive Strokes - Indicate “You are okay, I am okay” Position Negative Strokes – Indicate “You are not okay” Position Recognition | Attention | Responsiveness
  • 10. Power of Scripts “I am destined for glory” “Women don’t deserve to live” Scripts An unconscious writing in our mind, as to how life shall be lived
  • 11. Cultural Scripts Accepted and expected dramatic patterns within a society Sub-cultural Scripts Exist incase of complex cultures and are often defined by geographic location Family Scripts Identifiable traditions or expectations, successfully transmitted generation to generation Rajputs are expected to be Courageous Scripts with a Curse Destructive injunctions from parents to children Life Scripts
  • 12. How Scripts Shape Life Oprah had a troubled childhood. In fact, her mom abandoned her. she survived not only a brutal rape at the age of nine, but constant episodes of sexual molestation between the ages of 10 and 14, as well as a series of physical abuse. But, her grandma told her that she was ‘gifted’ and destined for better things in life. This message stayed with her through her life.
  • 13. Roles in Life Dramas Persecutor – He is someone who puts other people down and belittles them. The persecutor views others as being one down and not ok. Rescuer – He sees others as being not OK and one down. But the rescuer responds by offering help from a one up position. Victim – He is himself one down and not OK. Sometimes, the victim will seek a persecutor to put him down and push him around or the victim may be in search of a rescuer who will offer help and confirm the victim’s belief “I can’t cope on my own”.
  • 14. Example: Son (Persecutor) : You know I hate blue. Here you went and bought me another blue shirt – Yells angrily at mother Mother (Victim): I never do anything right as far as you’re concerned. Father (Rescuer): Don’t you dare yell at your mother like that, young man. Got to your room and no dinner! Son (Victim): They tell me to be honest and when I tell them what I don’t like, they put me down. How can you satisfy people like that ? – Sulking in his room Mother (Rescuer): Now don’t tell your father. We should get s0 upset over a shirt - Sneaks him a tray of food.
  • 15. Stamps  The particular feelings a child ego state collects are called “Trading Grey Stamps • Feelings of inadequacy are collected Blue Stamps • Feelings of depression are collected Red Stamps • Feelings of anger are collected White Stamps • Feelings of purity are collected Gold Stamps • Feelings of self-appreciation are collected Stamps”  People make collection of archaic feelings and then cash in for a psychological prize
  • 16. NP CP A AC LP NC Acting, thinking, feeling like your parent Dealing with current realities, gathering facts, objectivity Acting or feeling like u did when u were child Ego States
  • 17. Parent Ego State P Vocabulary:  Should, don’t, must, always, never, now what? Because I said so  I’ll take care of you, poor thing, there-there, come on, give it a try Tone:  Sneering, loud, harsh, contemptuous, condescending, punishing,  sympathetic, encouraging Gesture/Posture:  Pointed finger,  shaking head,  arms folded on chest, tapping feet/fingers, Facial Expression:  smile encouragingly,  set jaw,  outthrust chin,  raised eyebrows
  • 18. Adult Ego State A Vocabulary:  how, why, when, where, what,  alternatives, results, yes, no, caused by, statistics, facts not opinions. Tone: clear & calm, confident, factual, enquiring. Gesture/Posture:  straight (not stiff),  lean forward to listen/look,  relaxed, thinking with hand on chin,  patient. Facial Expression:  thoughtful, watching attentively,  questioning, alert, lively
  • 19. Child Ego State Vocabulary:  Wow,  give me what I want,  MINE,  I wish,  I’m scared, help, Tone:  giggle, chuckle, whine, swear, yell,  fast & high-pitched, whistle, playful,  ask permission. Gesture/Posture:  slumped,  curled up,  putting up hand to ask question Facial Expression:  tears, pouting, downcast or uplifted  eyes, tilted head, wide-eyed, fluttering  eyelashes, flirtatious, admiring C
  • 20. Ego State Boundaries  It is useful to think of each ego state as having boundaries.  Berne suggests that ego boundaries can be thought of as semi permeable membranes through which psychic energy can flow from one ego state to another.  Ego boundaries must be semi permeable otherwise psychic energy would be bound up in one ego state and unable to move about spontaneously as situations change.  The person whose free energy moves rapidly may be exciting and stimulating but others may have difficulty keeping with this fast moving pace.
  • 21. Ego State Boundaries  The one whose energy moves more slowly is the person who is slow to start and slow to stop activities and others may become impatient.  The physiology of the ego state boundaries is not yet understood, but the assumption that they exist is made by observing specific kinds of behavior defects.  Some people continually act in unpredictable ways and others are so predictable they seem monotonous.  These disorders are caused by ego state boundaries which are too lax or tight, have lesions or overlap.
  • 22. Lax Ego Boundaries  A person with lax ego boundaries doesn’t close the doors between ego states, but appears to lack identity and gives the impression of slipshod behavior.  The psychic energy slips continuously from one ego state to another in response to very minor stimuli.  This person may have great difficulty functioning in the real world and be in serious need of professional help.  “You will never know what is going on with him/her or what he/she is going to do next”. Their behavior is unpredictable and often irrational P A 0 C
  • 23. Rigid Ego Boundaries  Rigid ego boundaries do not permit the free movement of psychic energy.  It is as though a thick wall holds the psychic energy bound up in one ego state, excluding the other two.  The behavior of persons with this problem appears rigid because they tend to respond to most stimuli with only one of their ego states. P A C P A C P A C Constant Parent Constant Adult Constant Child
  • 24. Rigid Ego Boundaries Constant Parent • A person with constant parent will deal with the world solely by accessing set of parental rules • One type of constant parent is hardworking and has a strong sense of duty. • Another type of constant parent is the perpetual nurturer or rescuer Constant Adult • He is unable to join in the fun, functions almost solely as a planner, information collector and data processor. • They may seek jobs that are object oriented rather than people oriented. • Constant Adult often experiences trouble on a job if supervising others is required. Constant Child • The person who operates primarily as Constant Child is the one who is the perpetual little boy or girl who, like Peter Pan, doesn’t want to grow up. • People who act from their Constant Child don’t think for themselves, make their own decisions or take responsibility for their own behavior.
  • 25. Contamination of Adult  The clear thinking of the Adult is often spoiled by contamination.  Contamination can be thought of as an intrusion of the Parent ego sate and / or the Child ego state into the boundary of the Adult ego state.  Contamination occurs when the Adult accepts as true some unfounded Parent beliefs or Child distortions and rationalizes and justifies these attitudes. P A 0 C P A 0 C Parent Contamin ation Child Contamin ation P A 0 C Double Contamin ation
  • 26. Contamination of Adult Parent Contamination • Parental slogans are mistaken for adult reality • Parental contaminations often involve considerable emotions and are likely to occur in relation to specific subjects such as food, religion, politics, race, class and sex. • At times, large segments of society agree with prejudiced ideas. • Contaminations often intrudes on the laws of society. Double Contamination • It occurs when the person replays a parental slogan, agrees to it with a child belief, and mistakes both of these for reality. Child Contamination • Adult thinking is clouded by beliefs from childhood • One form of child contamination is the delusion of grandeur. A person may believe that she or he is savior of the world or the ruler of the world. • Another form is feeling persecuted – being poisoned, spied upon or plotted against. • Adult with child contamination has distorted perceptions of realities.
  • 27. Exclusion  A person with exclusion, will shut down one or more of his ego states  The person suffering from Parent, Adult or Child exclusion will be confronted with behavioral problems. P A C P A C P A C Operate with no readymade rules about the world Eg. Mafia Completely cut-off from reality Eg. Psychotic patients Cannot express feelings, all brain Eg. Cold aloof person
  • 28. Boundary Lesions  A person with ego boundary lesions is one who exhibits uncontrollable behavior when “sore points” are touched.  This person’s psyche has been seriously injured by one traumatic event or by a series of unhappy experiences during childhood.  When something rubs the sore spot, the injury may break open with an outpouring of strong, irrational emotion.  If ego boundary lesions interferes with adequate functioning, professional help is needed
  • 29. Strengthening your Adult Ego  Need to ensure that Adult ego state is controlling the other ego states.  Need to improve self-awareness, else most of the stimuli will be responded either by the Parent or Child ego State  Pacify your Parent – By doing a little thing that would please the Parent ego.  Pleasing the child – Check out the desires of a child and decide with an adult on the appropriate action  Education – Strengthens a persons ability to gather, organize and evaluate information that contributes to more accurate Adult judgements.  Contract – Commitment to one’s self or someone else to make a change  Raising the right Question A
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